Wedding Wednesdays: The Knot's 5 Essential Tips for Making Your Guest List

Guest list planning can get gritty and it's definitely not as fun as cake tasting or venue shopping. But it is one of the big ticket items that needs your attention the most. Have no fear, The Knot is here to help! Kick those guest list anxieties to the curb with these 5 essential tips.

1. Decide how you'll divvy up the list—before accepting financial help.
We won't tiptoe around the truth: Making a guest list can get messy, especially if one or both sets of parents are involved in the planning or contributing financially. That's why you should be clear about your expectations before you accept help from them. Even if you're paying for the wedding yourselves, it's a good idea to get the families together and talk about the guest list so there are no surprises. Once you've started putting down deposits with someone else's money, you're in a bind, whereas before you start spending, you can still negotiate or choose to decline.

Tip: Traditionally the couple gets half the guest list, and each set of parents gets a quarter of the guest list. So if you're planning to invite 200 people, you'd get 100 guests, your parents would get 50 and your fiancé's parents would also get 50. The most drama-free approach is to split the list evenly three ways.

2. Use a system that's collaborative.
There are a lot of different ways you can build your guest list, but it's best to use a system that's collaborative so anyone with input can make edits in real time and see the most up-to-date version. With The Knot Wedding Guest List Manager, you can easily can export your guest list to help create a seating chart and track your RSVPs. It's also useful to have everyone's contact info all in one place, so later on you have a list for holiday cards, anniversary party invitations and other occasions.

Tip: Don't delete any names once you get going. When the time comes to start dividing the yeses from the maybes (and the nos) you can use several color-coded tabs, or make a separate document for names you're unsure about. You might discover that you do have extra space, but if you erase the names completely, you'll have no idea who you might want to invite.

3. Design your dream list.
When you start building your list, jot down the names of everyone you could ever imagine attending your wedding, from old camp friends to that funny third cousin you met once at a family reunion. Just for this part, take your budget and venue out of the equation. You'll have to do some trimming later on, but for now, think big.

Tip: If you're tempted to invite even more people on a whim later, go back to this list as a reality check. If they were never on your dream list, are they really crucial now?

4. Be realistic about the number of guests to avoid stress later on.
Crunching the numbers isn't the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but there is a figure you really can't avoid: your guest list count. Your budget and the venue size are the main factors that should play into this decision. Each guest adds to the number of plates your caterer will prepare, favors, chair rentals and how much cake you'll need. Choose a number that's larger than your venue's capacity and you'll be holding your breath every time you open an RSVP. It's much better to keep your number on the conservative side. If there's room in the budget or you end up having more space than you thought you would, add later on.

Tip: Make it easy on yourself and use The Knot Budget Calculator to play around with the numbers and see how much you can save or spend by subtracting or adding from your guest list.

5. Make some cutting rules (and actually follow them).
It's time to return to reality and start trimming that dream list until you reach your real number. The easiest way to cut the list is to come up with rules and actually stick to them. We promise it'll be easier in the long run and you'll avoid potential drama down the line. What do we mean by "rules"? Here are a few common ones:

Rule 1: If neither of you has spoken to or met them or heard their name before, don't invite them.
Rule 2: Not crazy about inviting children to your party? Don't feel bad about having an adults-only wedding.
Rule 3: If neither of you has spoken to them in three years and they're not related to you, don't invite them.
Rule 4: If there's anyone who's on the list because you feel guilty about leaving them off (maybe because you were invited to their wedding or they're friends with lots of people who are invited), don't invite them.

Tip: We've heard just about every guest list horror story, and through experience, we know the only way to make this process go smoothly is to be as fair as possible when you're making edits. It'll be difficult at first, but for each person you take off your in-laws' or parents' list, take one off your own as well.

Conquer your guest list fears and devour the details of a perfectly planned wedding with the help of The Knot!